After Sex Life: How to get the most out of aftercare?

If you haven't practiced sexual aftercare before, you might not think it's a big deal, or something you need to be doing. But it has many health benefits, and since it's tailored to the individual, everyone can find a way to enjoy it.

"Sexual aftercare is important whether you’re in a committed relationship or not," Ratush tells us. He says, "the mind is incredibly vulnerable after sexual intercourse, and aftercare maintains respect between both parties and safeguards the emotional safety and security for both partners—critical factors in a positive relationship with sex."

Aftercare can create a bridge between our intimate world and the "regular" one we're a part of the rest of the time. "After sex of even the lowest intensity, putting aside some time to reset can help both partners manage a more positive return to regular activities," says Ratush. This means that not only does it help us be close to one another, it also enables us to go back to our normal lives more seamlessly after a sexual encounter.

Preventing negative emotions

Aftercare can prevent negative feelings from occurring. "Even after completely consensual acts, some people may experience embarrassment, shame, or guilt that can be diminished by communication," he explains.

For anyone who gets depressed after sex, aftercare is even more important. "It also helps combat post-coital dysphoria—informally known as 'post-sex blues'—a feeling of sadness that can follow after coming down from the dopamine high of consensual sex," says Ratush. He tells us that "this is a feeling experienced by both men and women that can happen after sex and can manifest as irritability, agitation, anxiety, or depression." By practicing aftercare, you can get ahead of this issue before it takes hold. "Maintaining a positive emotional bond in moments after sex can help lessen the impact of those negative feelings," he explains.

How to get the most out of aftercare?

Sexual aftercare can be fluid, and what it involves can change over time, even with the same partner(s). Communication about what each party wants to engage in is always key, as is consent around those activities. To get the most out of sexual aftercare, it is integral to understand your partner and their changing needs.

There's no right or wrong way to practice aftercare. If you and your partner(s) feel cared for, you're doing it correctly. Ratush suggests you "make sure that your partner’s needs are met after sex and communicate what you need to feel comfortable." Even if sexual aftercare hasn't been a part of your intimate life before, you have all the tools you need to begin engaging in emotionally healthy practice.